It’s been a tough beginning of year 2009….many unhappy n unpleasant matters happened.

I feel very vulnerable and weak…got no strength and energy to fight anymore.
But it’s only the beginning of the year…there’s still a long long way to go…
I cannot imagine, i dare not to imagine what will i bcum in the future..but all i know is that i need strength and support right now. Support n strength emotionally…

I had an accident this morning. I was lucky enough i did not hurt myself nor my little kancil, nor hurt anyone else on the road. Though it’s a minor accident that cause no lost, but I was scared, I trembled. At that moment, i lost control and break down to tears. Everything comes up to the brain again and i burst into tears….and i cried non-stop, even in the office. Unable to stop…what should i do then? cry until i m dehydrated?

I m tired of life. I m sick of my life. But i know i cant give up…i know i hv to be strong and pull myself together no matter what cause. I know i must do that, but it’s just so hard i dont know why…i guess i m just not strong or mature enough..i guess i need more time than others to get thru all these. I know i have to….

Yes…i promise U that i ll be strong, I’ll be good…..until the day we meet again. I hope everything goes fine for u when u got back… Lets work hard for ourselves together. After all, we are still under the same sun, same moon….the same beautiful sky.

Pull myself together… I will.

新的一年，坏的开始。

最近发生了很多事。。。很多不开心的事。 觉得很累快崩溃了。。。曾经有人和我说过，每个人面对困难和承受压力的能力都因人而异。我想我承受压力和难过的能力非常差。。。因为我开始觉得很累，对什么事都无精打采，也很就没有开怀的笑了。就算是笑了，也会马上因为未解决的问题而再次皱起眉头。以前我不相信别人说。。人长大后会很容易不开心，但是现在我明白了；也完全体会到了。也许因为那件事让我对身边的事物和人完全失去了信心，也不觉得还有什么是美好的了。就连看个连续剧，看部电影，听首歌或出外看见身边的事物，都可以让我胡思乱想到哭。。。

我难过。。很很很难过。我很感谢家人和朋友们对我的关心。。因为如果没有大家的关心和安慰，我怕我现在真的疯了。可是有些时候，根本没有办法形容自己的问题和不开心。怎么办？一件事还没有完全GET OVER, 另一件麻烦就跟着来了。咳～～～

人人都问我新的一年有什么愿望？我的愿望是要自己开开心心的。我的愿望听起来很简单，也许会让人大笑，也许会有人当我开玩笑，但是最近对我来说，这个愿望真的好难达到。

Sigh…whatever it is. I ll just need to face my problems n feelings on my own. At least i m still alive and healthy…难过了生活还是要过。。能吃能睡已经很好了。只想对自己说“加油”。。也对遇到困难的朋友们说“我们一起加油”。

After graduation, everyone is busy with their own life. Some continue to study; some having a break or holiday before work; some working hard earning money…etc. So this is working life…i miss those days when we were all still studying. ^_^ Always hang out lepak…in The Curve…One U…kluang station…Wong kok…Kim gary…teh tarik place…Banana leaf…Mc donalds…all possible places!!!! We hanged out makan n gossip-ing all the time or doing group projects after lectures or tutorials. Thats the fun of it…tats what motivates me to go to class, all bcuz i could hang out with frenz after that..hahahahahah (just joking la). But really miss those days. Just hope that all of us will have a great future and all the best to everyone i love…so much! Muaksss and miss u guys~~

今天是8月18日…再多12天小宝贝就要离开FAIRY’S GARDEN的小家庭了. 

这个小家庭好好笑的,因为他们都喜欢给人家去外号"什么什么神"的. 好像我们就有"厨神"…"花神"….而我竟然是他们的"赌神"!!! 因为当我和厨神哥哥玩牌(21点)的时候,十场牌里我就赢了6次的21点!! 结果我们的厨神哥哥气到不跟我玩21点了.哈哈哈哈~其他人还说要带我去云顶赢钱才行! 不过我觉得是跟阿TROY哥哥玩的时候才会这样哦~~哈哈哈! 阿TROY哥哥能煮出一手好菜…记得以后我回来吃东西, 不要CHEESE也不要牛肉哦! 还有我们的"花神"姐姐,也是一极棒的哦. 姐姐插的花很美的,而且我发现我和姐姐很多地方还蛮像的. 很感动哦…我还没有走, 姐姐就说她舍不得我了 ^_^ 接下来有我们的算命师傅. "冰咖啡"是他每天都得喝的. 对了师傅, 对不起我泡的咖啡不好喝…委屈你了~ 以后是YUNG SHENG泡了, 不用担心了! YUNG SHENG 和 YEE HUI, 你们也要加油咯! ^_^ 最后还有小BB…不跟你玩MONOPOLY了啦! 每次我都BANKRUPT的~ T.T EHH….我的毕业典礼送花给我啦….要不然我没有花的话很丢脸的NEH~~~哈哈哈哈!

FAIRY’S GARDEN小家庭的每个成员都有一些共同点:
第一: 我们每个人看起来都比实际年龄来得小哦! 年轻好嘛~~哈哈哈!
第二: 我们每个人都好瘦…可是超会吃的!!!!
第三: 我们都是"艺术家"哦~ 煮是一门艺术; 插花是一门艺术; 泡咖啡是一门艺术; 更不用说我们会画画和设计啦…所以…是不是都很艺术呢???

短短的两个月,认识了这么多好好又可爱好笑的人..很开心哦! 谢谢你们的照顾和疼爱. 以后一定常常回来看你们的! GANBATE KUDASAI!!

Ehh Hmm…~~ it’s been long since i write a blog!!! Gosh…i ady forgot how to write a blog. These few months are like living in hell!! PROJECTS PROJECTS PROJECTS~~~ What to do…it’s my final year, final projects. Well, the lecturers and tutors are expecting alot of work from me n my friends. We are working double..nope…TRIPLE hard work to satisfy our lecturers. I would say, because we are merely trying to make our lecturers happy with the works, in the end we are all not enjoying the projects. It’s sad to say so. Aiksss….how are we going to produce some good designs when we are so pressure and so not enjoying the projects?!!! Ish ish… Everyday tak cukup tidur, i look like a ghost right now!! Look so pale, dull and exhausted~~ wuwuwuw T.T

Cool but not perfect—> Resident Evil- Extinction.

Like the previous, there’s a lot of actions going on, and the actions and fightings are kinda cool (love the personality of ‘Alice’), but i m not satisfied with the ending….aiks. The ending is just too….i might say done too simply~~dont like the ending. The movie is 18 PL, well~kids under 18 better dont watch lah. hahaha~ But as i mentioned, i love ‘Alice’. Milla Jovovich plays the role really well…she’s cool and….erm…how to say…tough. In conclusion, the movie is ok…

Today, Oct 1, the first day to college (Year 3-final year) once again after the long long 4 months holiday. I couldnt sleep last nite, coz i was too excited. Partly also bcoz i met my two old old primary sch frenz ( really old..hahaha) and we chat so long in the msn until around 4am! But damn happy lah. Hahaha….

How’s college today? Erm erm…nothing special. A bit bored though..how come? Duno either. Maybe it’s the long hours of briefing that spoilt our mood gua. I talked alot today, seemed like i m back to be the ‘clown’ and joker again. But it’s ok, as long as my frenz r happy. Hahaha.. 

LEt’s talk a bit abt my frenz now. Erm…well, lets start with Louise the class rept…didnt change much, but diet successfully, became thinner ady. Lui lui christine cut her hair short; daddy sam and shaw chiang cut their hair damn short too!! Erm….basically everyone didnt change much. Perhaps i m the one who changed the most. Hahaha…anyway, so happy to see all classmates again. And wish everyone luck lah, final year ady, good luck!! Lets play hard n study hard togeda!!

Hohoho~~today was a fun day. My friends n i (two of them lar, one called xiao bi bi n the other called xiao yu yu) went to the KL Library to borrow books! Ghee~~weird ler! this is the 1st time the 3 of us being so hardworking wei~! Hahaha. We went there n blur blur all the time. The library is very spacious n comfortable (coz there r sofas everywhere). And guess wat, i saw a ’sign’ saying "Dilarang tidur di sini!" Funny sign ler… but right infront of the sign, there’s a malay guy "tidur-ing" there. ish ish~tak tau baca ke? hahaha.

After the library ‘trip’, we went to One Utama..we had our lunch + dinner at Dave Deli’s. My god~~sambil eating sambil water dripping from the air-con above us. Hahaha..later we went to MPH bookstore…see~~we r so hardworking wei…just now library now bookstore. Hahaha~there we search for other books lor, but then when we came to the language department, we stopped by n found a Korean dictionary. then we started reading n pronouncing the words….damn funny one! Here r the few words that i can rmb:
cho nun = i am
chagun = small
mulkkogi = fish
kwijunghan = precious (bao bei)
agi = baby
tijaino = designer
pabo = idiot
kaesaekki = asshole (oops…..haha)

Der…these r the words tht i can remember. Hahaha…hope u enjoy readin’ n speaking it aloud!

Time passes really fast…4 months holilday ending soon. It seems like only yesterday i drop by to complain about my holiday work as a teacher…now 5 more days i m going back to ‘hell’ again. Hahaha…dont know how’s all my classmates been doing. For the time being, after i came to kl two days ago, i hv met xiao yuyu and xiao bi bi only. They didnt change much. We went to our studio to collect our artworks, and said ‘goodbye’ to studio A606, a place where we shared our laughters n stress. The college is still as usual, so quiet~and spooky…so few ppl walking around…sometimes really doubt if it is a college, where it’s supposed to hv lots of students walking around…hahaha. My feelings now is so complicated, part of me wish to go back college but part of me don’t. Aynway, hope everything goes on well when the new semester starts. Aza aza fighting!!